Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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