Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
