I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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