I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
