i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
