I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
