lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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