I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
