I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
