I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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