And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
