ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
