I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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