I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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