what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
