You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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