Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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