There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Rumble strips road head = magical
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
