i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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