i barfeds in our rink
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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