I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
