turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
