he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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