4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You have to summon your inner elephant
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
