Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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