Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im six kinds of drunk right now
honey bunches of taint.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
