I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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