I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
