I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
