I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
