I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just puked most of my soul out..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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