so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
