Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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