i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
