I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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