i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I party with great urgency now.
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