After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
