big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
