i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
