Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In other news, I just burned my penis
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
