Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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