so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
