I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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