I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
