She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
