i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
