Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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