what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
