I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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