Umm I'm too high to move.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i drank out of a bidet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
