I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
