The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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