Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
