My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
