That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I need to stop coming to work sober
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize