C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
