i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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