Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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